On Affectionate Intimacy
Walking past me, with the ipad to watch TV for a little bit before bed.
A simple wave, and good night. No contact, no touch, no kiss. Just a nod.
If I don’t come into the room within the next 5 minutes. It’s my fault that I’ve disturbed her sleep.
Is a need for intimacy and touch my problem? Is it reasonable for me to feel that it should be somewhat symmetric. That my partner if she wants to go to bed at 10:00 to take the 5 steps towards me and show a small part of intimacy.
I’m not talking about touching, petting, caressing. Just a simple, you are my partner, my love, my life and so I will invest 5 steps towards you and a tiny bit of intimacy, a kiss, a touch.
Where on the spectrum of intimacy is a good place to be? A fleeting touch of the hand, or a passionate kiss? What is the right amount? I understand position of the “I’m not a touchy feely person”, but does it compromise by showing intimacy?
Affectional intimacy is already stunted. Other forms of intimacy - emotional, sexual are just as hard to align on.